Macrophallus

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Jack Mascotte
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Published on 06 Jan 2021 / In Pets & Animals

⁣A polar bear cocking about with the torn off tallywhacker of a presumably dead narwhal.

Much to my surprise, there is not a whole lot of information on the size of a narwhal penis.

Now the ocean unicorns they are attached to are quite fascinating creatures, they are medium-sized toothed whales with a protruding canine tooth or "tusk" that sticks out of the males face only. The females don't have tusks.

The porpoise of the tooth was thought to be for hunting, but it has been recently hypothesized to be all about sex and reproduction. The length of the narwhal's tusk directly correlates to the amount of mates the bonerwhale gets to freak with.

Truthfully, this writeup could have been about polar bears, but I was mesmerized by the swinging one eyed wonder worm and I feel like narwhals are underrepresented here, so I went that way.

If you're wondering how the polar bears are able to catch these mythical mammals, I sort of just gave you the answer. Narwhals, just like dolphins and orcas, are mammals, meaning they have to come up for air once in a while.

If the bear is in the right spot when they do, they are strong enough to just reach in and pull them up onto the ice.

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